Monday, March 16, 2009
Signs, be them posts or boards, serve one purpose and one purpose only (that is if you discount the fact that some might use them as weapons or interpret them as decorative items...). That is, to send out a message, inform the reader about something. Sometimes though, things can turn out just so wrong even though the objective to tell people about something is so simple...
CHAPTER 0010 : WORDS DON'T COME EASY
Apparently they don't, not to the people who came up with these names and terms though. Have a look and you'll know what we're talking about...
We've seen a few stupid specimens of very bad/odd/unthinkable word-usage before but mostly one at a time, now we have 3 and I guess it would be fun to rank them so here goes...
COMING IN AT NUMBER 3;
One can only imagine how big 6 X's represent...
In 2nd place;
This is an interesting one... It can either be a very humiliating case of misspelling or could have an alternate meaning. Then again, which business would want to reveal their real initiatives as conmen?This would have easily been number one. Unfortunately for the con people aged 3 and above though, the people in the donut business have outwitted their conning instincts..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And the best of the best is;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Notice number one on the list. The words speak for themselves. Imagine someone asking you about your occupation and you having to blurt out "Oh, I'm an Ass Manager...". Okay.......
There you have it, words certainly don't come easy, not to some at least. It's just incredible how the person who wrote it can forward it for printing without noticing anything wrong, the printing party can go ahead with printing the material without noticing any oddities and the people who put these up for the public to see can easily place them in the open without noticing any laughable or questionable content. Simply incredible.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
People... People... People... It is not known whether any of you have been waiting for this or not, but here it comes. THE MONKEY CAGE IS BACK. Whether you like it or not, well, hopefully you do or else you won't be here would you, the monkey-fied aspects of our lives have come flocking to its rightful residence here at the cage and without any further delay, let's do a rewind in chapters to commemorate the 'Idunohowmanytimesalready' revival of the Monkey Cage...
So, we started with Roman Numerals, then moved on to numbers as we know today, what's next?
CHAPTER 0001 (ooohh yeah, binaries baby...) : REVIVAL - THE PICTURE FILM
Opening Narration (accompanied by drumrolls, imagine people) ;
FLIES. Flies are filthy bugs, lurking around the stench of anything rotten, feasting and breeding on the vile surfaces of the most decomposed remains of the ugliest pieces of flesh, horror movie creatures, only real... Often, these little bits of terror on wings terrorize us humans too, and apart from discovering how to take a bath, our species has discovered another breakthrough in our quest against these creatures of mass disgust... Behold, the DEODORANT!
Wait a minute... Is that? Let's take a look from another angle...
Can it be a.... No, it can't be... 
A FLY!!! OH THE TERROR!!! HOW CAN WE LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR KIDS? OH THE TRAUMA TO THE HUMAN RACE...Oh.. The trauma...
THE END?Well, whether it is the end of that horrific story or not, it certainly isn't the end of the Monkey Cage, heck, there will never be an end. Because as long as time passes by and people inhabit this world, there will always be monkeys among us, very possibly living in our shadows, or ARE what cast our shadows too... So go home, take a bath, and take this all in, and while you're at it, sort out your toiletries will you? Especially on your deodorants if you get the point...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Monkey Cage is not only back after quite a hiatus, it is back but in actual fact not really in the confines of a location called home. The cage has been re-situated and as it finds its new home, new monkeys are unfortunately scarce. However...
CHAPTER 8 : THE MONKEYS CUT HAIR
There have been many posts on a certain famous blog which depict the hilarities or more likely stupidities of signboards of stores, eateries and miscellaneous establishments. The Monkey Cage is probably just a minute unit as popular as that traffic eater of a weblog but today, the Monkey Cage has totally defeated each and every supposedly stupid or funny signboard one finds there with a signboard captured on its own to be the first signboard inducted into the Monkey Cage Hall of Fame... Behold,
In some cases we laugh at the logo, most of the time the name... This time, BOTH! Now if only someone cares to share about how a haircut or some other form of "treatment" in the PORN SALOON is like because The Monkey Cage is probably unqualified to even take a guess at how business is like for this very interesting salon.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
What I saw that day spun my mind more turbulent than a washing machine when set to tumble. I never knew the monkeys living among us, around us and with us need it so much...CHAPTER 7 : REALLY REALLY SAFE
Mating is a part of life, not just for monkeys but for all other creatures, monsters, homosapiens and supersapiens as well. Don't doubt me, I'm quite sure Hellboy didn't appear from thin air. However babies aren't what most people would want and due to that, there's this thing that was created and I NEVER KNEW A TRUCK LOAD OF IT WOULD BE NEEDED EVEN FOR A TINY TOWN LIKE THIS.
The amount of the advertised product that could fill the truck would simply be staggering, to the extent that if every one was put to good use, it could prevent the population of the world from doubling, no, tripling, hence, stopping the surface of the earth from sinking in as a result of more fatties roaming the land. The truck driver must be saluted (since no other personnel can be thought of) because as long as someone with seven hundred times the power of Mr. Freeze does not appear to save the world from global warming, he is the hero for the day. Playsafe indeed.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Life is full of journeys. Journeys make up life. One's journey in life is what one's life and its journeys are about. Life and journey are two words that just simply annoy the hell out of readers (the Cage's one at least) by being applied in philosophical mish-mashes and trials of literature elemental structures. Ok, that's enough for catching up on many many days of lacking annoyance-filled posts, now, here's the real deal, the Monkey Cage shall dwell upon a topic of much more conventional journeys that are probably not so life-defining as you would probably expect.
CHAPTER 6 : MP MP MP MP! (the meaning lies in the state which shares a same 1st letter as MONKEY!)
The definiton of journey in today's context is one which involves going from one place to another with the use of public transport. With the world turning into the world it is and as times get tougher for people economically and for monkeys bananamaniacally, we tend to go for the cheapest means possible of everything, that includes going to the mall and back. For the traditional monkeys who still live on trees, swing with vines, eat wild bananas and maybe don't read English, the Monkey Cage shall make an effort in explaining how one can make use of public transport, in this case, taking the bus.1. Oooh oohh ahh oooh uuurrrrggghhhhh Malaka rrrr san tral wuuuu. (swing and jump and climb your way to Melaka Sentral)2. Aaahh aahhh busbus ooh ahhh GPS ooh ga ooh ga ching ching ching. (go up the bus, tell the conductor where you wanna go and pay up *bananas are not part of the new-age credit system)3. Oogie oogie ooh ooh, wu wu ahh oohh teeet teeet ooh ooh ahh ahh. (When you reach the destination, simply press the red button and get down when the bus stops.)Notice that at step 3, our more primitive cousins might spot something morale-boosting or more likely intelligence-boosting as what they see at that point can be sort of a measure of intelligence for both monkey and man. Stop and stare.
So... Bus stops, people come down, people come up. What's so monkey about this seemingly normal procedure of a typical bus ride? It all lies in what lies ahead...
DILARANG MENGAMBIL DAN MENURUNKAN PENUMPANG BAS DI SINI. If my 11 years of learning Bahasa Malaysia serves me right, isn't that supposed to mean that buses are prohibited from dropping or collecting passangers here? Mr. Bus driver seemed like he was taught that the word DILARANG means you are ENCOURAGED to... Oh well, authorities would probably just close one eye as MP could have a hidden meaning which is Monkey Paradise... And Monkey Paradise it is isn't it, this world we live in?P.S; The Monkey Cage has been out for quite a while, and that is due to something humans call examinations... Regardless of what that means, be rest assured that the Cage is up and running as good as ever! Also, at this point of life, expect there to be an exodus involving the monkeys we know and the monkey-piloted buses we go on as for this time around, we all just wanna go home.
One can only imagine how big 6 X's represent...
This is an interesting one... It can either be a very humiliating case of misspelling or could have an alternate meaning. Then again, which business would want to reveal their real initiatives as conmen?
Notice number one on the list. The words speak for themselves. Imagine someone asking you about your occupation and you having to blurt out "Oh, I'm an Ass Manager...". Okay.......
A FLY!!! OH THE TERROR!!! HOW CAN WE LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR KIDS? OH THE TRAUMA TO THE HUMAN RACE...
In some cases we laugh at the logo, most of the time the name... This time, BOTH! Now if only someone cares to share about how a haircut or some other form of "treatment" in the PORN SALOON is like because The Monkey Cage is probably unqualified to even take a guess at how business is like for this very interesting salon.
